Isn’t normal everyday life a wild ride?
I mean in our heads, inside.
Much of outer life can be quite same-same, no dramas thankfully, most days. I like it that way, the comfort of routine, the calm of plans confirmed, a sense of certainty - as much as that is ever possible.
But inside, it’s a different story right? Surprises guaranteed every day, if you’re paying attention to your mind!
Yesterday I was walking the dogs in the park and a lone bagpiper began to practice nearby. Immediately I felt tears spring to my eyes, my mind just doing its thing. I was transported back a few years, my Scottish colleague, a piper in a beautiful verdant city courtyard, people and times I miss.
Then the music ended and it passed.
Later, I read in French to practice, an existential style of book, an author’s struggle. I was there with her in Paris, on the train, on the streets. Then I was flying back through time with her to early motherhood with all its anxieties, even terrors of doing it wrong.
Outside, nothing to see here.
It was just another day.
On the inside it was the usual wild ride.
Our inner world is as jumpy and flighty as a wild animal, shifting, elusive, always running with random thoughts, impulses, memories, hopes, imaginings, new ideas, intuitions and shifting feelings.
We don’t get to control the content or the movements of our minds, never completely, no matter how we try.
We get to work with the mind, like a trainer - observe it, get to know it intimately, watch how it runs and marvel at it, befriend it, so it mostly works for and not against our well being.
It took me a long time to understand that was the true meaning of self-care - knowing myself as best I can and actively working with my inner life, to get all of me on board for my wellbeing - not just some of me.
Before I knew that, before I listened to myself and coached myself inside, I was under the spell of my own critical voice and my fears - held back by half of me, as the other half struggled to break free of my unseen self-restraints.
Emotional freedom means harnessing all of your parts to work together - the crazier parts and the intellectual, the wise and the wild aspects of you. It takes a lot of self- talk, but first a lot of self-listening (also known as mindfulness).
Self-care is not a spa and movie night, or even a holiday. Those are just nice, fun things we should definitely do.
Do them all.
But let’s not kid ourselves about their power. We’re too smart for that. They barely scratch the surface of true self-care.
We have to listen and appreciate that wild, beautiful mind.
Listen, and coach yourself to help and support you with all your magnificent creativity.
Speak to yourself just like you would speak to any good friend. Moment by moment.
That’s self-care. The rest is fun and fluff.
Thank you for putting into words your “moment” with your thoughts and feelings evoked by the sound of bagpipes! So much going on in our minds. So true!! It’s amazing the experiences we all have in our minds!!! And yes, mindfulness is so important to have some control over these experiences, to slow it down so we can enjoy the ride.👍🏼👍🏼
:)