Hello! I hope you are feeling well as the silly season starts to ramp up around us again. It’s a time of mixed emotions for most people, which leads me to this week’s subscriber question.
You are welcome to send your questions to me at drdebracampbell@substack.com for anonymous publication in my paid subscriber newsletter.
Here we go:
Hi Deb
I’d like to ask if the following can be a discussion for Deb Does Therapy. It may apply to many especially as Christmas approaches.
I’ve just finished writing the family Christmas letter, a task my Dad used to do for decades. Both of my parents passed away within 10 weeks of each other this year. Even though they were 89 and 92 , it never crossed my mind 2021 was their last Christmas.
Adjusting to and accepting their passing continues to be so different than I imagined. When I think of them and feel the need to grieve I open my heart a fraction and feel that intense sadness then quickly close off. I often ask myself if I’m processing this grief in a weird way ? Am I in denial ? Six months on and I struggle with the reality of their passing. At times it dawns on me ‘ they are no longer’ ‘ they are now dust ‘. What’s happened to their true being - their souls.
There has been a shift in my own mind set since their death As a young adult many moons ago up until my early 60’s my childhood experience had contributed to a degree of anxiety / depression. Working off and on over the years with psychologists , eventually I had control over this difficulty However since this loss , especially my dad , I am free of my past anxiousness and feel genuinely liberated.
Even though Christmas will be full of joy with a new grandson and special people all around, I feel certain my first Christmas with out my complete family around will be tinged with competing emotions. I am however extremely grateful we spent Christmas 2021 together.
In summary I feel I’m blocking out the loss of my parents.
Hello You,
Well, first of all, know that you have my sincere sympathies for the huge losses you’ve experienced in recent times. That’s one heck of a tough year you’ve had since last Christmas time.
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