This week’s subscriber question is about good ol’ Imposter Syndrome…
Hi Deb,
I’ve got a great new job with more money and responsibility! I’m so happy but a part of me feels like an imposter. I hate that. I wish I felt like I deserved this job, because I’ve worked hard in my field for many years. What can I do to help myself feel more confident?
Dear You,
Almost everyone experiences some fear of being exposed as 'not good enough' at some time in their lives, maybe many times. It’s like a fear of being found out as knowing nothing, not being enough of something, anything...of being out of your depth and unworthy.
Poet and activist Maya Angelou spoke of feeling like a fraud who would be found out as not good enough, a long way into her acclaimed career. So, when you feel like an impostor in life or in a role - like you can’t believe you got to where you are without someone catching you and sending you back – you are in great company.
I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.
Maya Angelou
Many celebrated, talented and successful people struggle with such feelings, as much or more, than the rest of us. It seems that feeling like a fraud sometimes is a strangely normal part of the human condition, which even has a name - Impostor Syndrome (IS). Other well-known people who have spoken about their experiences with IS are Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Maisie Williams and Tina Fey, just to get started.
They describe that feeling you identified, that somehow you got lucky and might not really deserve your success, like you might be exposed as a fraud and shamed at any moment. Most people experience IS feelings at some point in life and move through them as they accept themselves more fully and build greater confidence in themselves and their track record.
IS isn't a mental illness and is generally no more than a bunch of intrusive thoughts you can easily put to rest if they arise only now and again. But if it’s holding you back and effecting your wellbeing, your impostor anxiety perhaps needs addressing more thoroughly.
Why does IS happen to us?
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