Hello,
I’ve been in Brazil 11 days, seeing, tasting, and listening to all things different and new. In the cities, everything disorientates me with speed and acute angles. In Rio cars shave the hairs off bystanders’ legs and motorcyclists bet their lives on drivers’ reflexes and goodwill. I’m quiet, eyes wide, sometimes spinning inside.
Away from the big cities, I’m rarely understood. When Translate doesn’t connect, my communication is toast. Language binds or divides us and culture weaves through our words, all the minutiae we take for granted suddenly vibrantly underlined.
People don’t know that I don’t understand, so they keep speaking at my brick wall brain. At first, I felt truly dumb, unable to verbally communicate. Then I pick up 10 or 12 useful words of friendliness and self-explanation and the sky becomes wider again and we are all in it together, laughing it off.
Adventurous feels like one of those things you’re supposed to be, like beautiful, something not everyone can do or sustain the way the world says. But maybe, like beauty, ‘adventurous’ is very subjective. It doesn’t have to be hard and fast and fuelled by Red Bull. On that kind of adventure, I’m a two, maybe hitting a four after a couple of caipirinhas. I don’t hate that about myself.
It’s hard to feel bad about not being something you don’t want to be. Yet the toxic ‘shoulds’ can still break through when anxiety does a drive-by. It’s important not to bow to the ‘shoulds’ and stay in the self-compassion lane.
I started yoga classes here in Poços this week and I noticed immediately how wound up I was inside, just being a stranger in a strange land. But yoga always invites me to let go softly, quietly, and feel my feet on the ground, no matter where I am on the planet.
In class, sanskrit words and phrases break through our different languages and accents. The practice connects us all tightly as women, as yoginis, and I’m freed up again to refocus on the beauty and excitement of the new and unknown in ordinary daily life. Anxiety and the sheer speed of it all drains away and it’s a beautiful adventure again, inside and out.
Love to you from the road,
The word that came to mind as I was reading that was - overwhelming. How lovely to find grounding in yoga. (But of course!) I look forward to reading more about your trip over the weeks.